Tips for Thru-Hiking As A Couple
Thru-hiking as a couple is a huge privilege. It’s incredibly hard to get someone to join you on a backpacking trip, let alone a multi-month, several thousand mile excursion! But thru-hiking as a couple also brings its own set of challenges. Being a couple in regular day-to-day life is one thing, thru-hiking as a couple is often a whole new challenge. As someone who has thru-hiked solo and also thru-hiked with my significant other, I wanted to provide some insight on what has (or hasn’t) worked well for us.
This blog will go over some of my tips for backpacking or thru-hiking as a couple. Of course every couple is different, so feel free to take from this blog what works for you and your partner, and leave what doesn’t.
My fiancé and I met while thru-hiking the PCT in 2019 (we each started solo). We met about 1,600 miles in and hiked together for the remaining 1,000 miles. After dating for two years, we then thru-hiked the CDT as a couple in 2022. These are the tips for thru-hiking as a couple that we picked up over 3,700 miles of backpacking together.
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #1: Don’t Share Gear
My first tip might be a little controversial, and I’ve definitely seen thru-hiking couples who would disagree, but that tip is to NOT share any of your gear. Josh and I were sort of already doing this when we met on the PCT, because obviously we came into it with our own gear, but continuing to NOT share gear has worked really well for us.
Josh is faster than me and we don’t always want to hike side by side, so not having to worry about who is carrying what gear has really freed us up to do that. It’s also meant we’ve been prepared in multiple situations that we didn’t even anticipate (like one of our stoves breaking).
We sleep in the same tent if we are together, which was my duplex on the CDT. Josh typically carried that, and I carried his Plexamid in case we got separated or wanted our own space for a night.
Sometimes we plan to hike separately, but sometimes it happens unexpectedly. There was a time just outside of Yellowstone where I got caught in a torrential downpour. I took some time to hide out under some trees and Josh got way ahead. By the time it let up, I knew I would be doing a huge 3 mile climb in the dark if I tried to catch up with him, so luckily I had all my own stuff and could just camp earlier than he did.
I’ve also seen couples who each carry parts of one tent get separated. They both were panicking until they were able to (luckily) find each other. But this experience really highlighted how not carrying your own tent could turn south fast.
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #2: Have the hard conversations before you leave.
Thru-hiking as a couple is going to inevitably lead to some tough conversations, and I think it’s more helpful to have as many of those as you can before you leave. I wanted to have a really clear understanding of what we expected of each other in certain situations going into our CDT thru-hike as a couple. For example, I wanted to know how we both would feel if one of us got injured and had to get off trail, or what we would do if one of us wanted to quit and the other didn’t. Obviously, things can change in the moment, but we wanted to have some of those tough conversations out of the way and be as prepared as we could be if they came up on trail.
We also talked about the fact that we didn’t need to hike together all day every day and how we would communicate about that. It’s helpful to know what each of you expects out of thru-hiking as a couple before you leave.
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #3: Carry a satellite communication device that you can use to text.
I sort of coerced Josh into this one, but it was important to me that we each have a communication device that we could text with in case we got separated. We know from experience that Josh worries when I don’t show up as quickly as he expects, and this was a good way to give both of us peace of mind. There were times where we got unexpectedly separated and it was way better that we could check in with each other and say, “hey i’m not gonna make it to where you are tonight, but I’m okay, wait for me and I’ll see you in the morning.”
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #4: If you want a trail family, it might take more effort than when you’re solo.
Something that I think both of us realized while thru-hiking as a couple on the CDT, was that it was a little harder to stick with a set trail family. It’s easier to not go in on hotel rooms with people and just do your own thing as a couple. Because you have each other, it can create some separation from a group. We did end up having lots of awesome people we hiked with and eventually a trail family, but I think you have to be a little more intentional about creating those connections when thru-hiking as a couple.
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #5: Understand that some things will no longer be sacred.
If you’re a couple who has never thru-hiked together before, just understand that your partner is going to see it ALL. I think thru-hiking brings people really close for this reason, but also be prepared for some of the “mystery” to die. Personally, I prefer this kind of connection, but just in case you're hoping to maintain some sort of dainty facade (ex: not letting your partner hear you fart), just know that is going to be very difficult while thru–hiking. Also, you both are going to smell bad and you’re going to be sharing very small spaces, so just…be ready.
Thru-Hiking As A Couple Tip #6: Find a way to have your own individual journeys as well.
My final tip for thru-hiking as a couple is to find a way to have your own individual journeys on the hike as well. Something I really value about thru-hiking is the freedom and independence that I get from it, which can be harder to maintain when you’re hiking as a couple. Try to gain an understanding of what you want out of the thru-hike before you start and make sure you are giving each other the space to do that.
I hope if you are thinking about thru-hiking or backpacking as a couple, you find some of these tips helpful. Feel free to leave some of your own or any questions you have in the comments!